As I sit here wondering where in the world I am going to get the money to buy my own child even a single Christmas gift this year I am organizing a group of DFW kinky folk on a drive to get presents and clothes for a battered women's shelter. I truly believe that no matter how bad off I feel like the girl and I are right now we have so much more to give. And knowing my girl I know that helping me do this will swell her heart even more then waking up Christmas morning to a roomful of presents. I will manage something. I always do. I am fine to go without eating lunch for a couple of weeks to have the money to get at least one thing she is asking for. But she is so wonderful and she knows we don't have extra money so her Christmas list consists of 2 things this year. Which is another reason I want her to be involved with this. She is such a compassionate little creature. Sometimes I wonder why in the world I was blessed with such an amazing child. Last night my roommate's granddaughter was at our house. She is potty training right now and my girl went in the bathroom with her and cheered her on while she went potty. And then the little girl pulled her own pants up and flushed the potty all by herself. My girl was there shouting encouragement the entire time. She blows my mind. I wish I had the money to give her everything she wants. But she NEVER asks for anything. She is grateful when I get her a pack of gum.
Anyway, I am getting all teary eyed. It has been a day today for sure. I think my emotions are on edge. I have had some wonderful conversation today with James. I like him and happen to respect him a great deal. I honestly think he needs to teach guys how to be men and how to treat women. And well thats a shameless plug for his goodness because he is becoming my friend. Today I miss my daddy too. I didn't have many Christmases with him. But I remember one in particular. We went out and bought a huge live tree and lit it up like crazy with this huge blanket of white lights. We didn't have any ornaments so I tied big red velvet bows on the tree. It was my favorite tree I ever had. My daddy went out and bought a dozen strings of bubble lights just because I had seen them once and loved them. I had pine garland hanging all over the mantel and his cherry entertainment center. I miss him so much on a daily basis but it seems particularly hard this year for some reason. I think it has to do with the fact that I really just need to crawl into someone's arms. I need desperately to be held right now. I need that healing touch badly. *sighs deeply and moves on*
I have had several people ask me to blog about cuckolding from my perspective. I have decided I will. Not in this post mind you but in future posts. I have some things tickling my brain that I want to get out first. But look for things to come.
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