Whether or not I end up persuing this thing with J or not I know I made the right decision regarding S. He was highly upset about the blow off. I didn't flirt and I didn't lead him on. I told him from the get go I was interested in J. Is it really my fault for being so cavalier? Did I do something wrong? I was just enjoying myself with one of the rare extremely intellectual men I have run across.
No, I am not responsible for the actions and feeling of others. I know that. But I am responsible if I deliberately lead him on. I didn't. I stated up front from the very beginning that I wasn't interested in a relationship and that I would be happy to be friends. He read more into the situation that was really there.
Oh well, I can't change it now and I won't be forced into a relationship on a guilt trip. When I decide on a relationship it will be a unified decision.
Anyway, I have finalized the party plans and now I just need to look for horse invitations and get a birthday gift for the kiddo. I think I am going to get her a grown-up necklace. I can't believe my baby is going to be 8! I don't want her to grow up. And it sends my biological clock to ticking but I know I don't want another one. I am finally getting to have a little freedom and I do NOT want to start all over again. And babies are starting to lose the cuteness for me. I don't even ooh and aaah over them when I see them out anymore. I am content with one and then I get my real life back. I want to travel and experience life now that I am old enough to truly enjoy it. I am looking forward to the next 10 years or so. I just need to get fixed! LoL
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